By Snoop Dogg (aka Peter Maddern)
Yo all you men and your bitches,
This man Turner will have you in stitches
Well maybe not right from the start
Cos he don’t really much look the part.
You see he’s blonde and he’s really pale
Christ you look twice to see if he’s male
And he aint like us, he aint no blinged up nigga
In fact our Mr T’s some pommy silver spoona.
His mate Stu, he’s one that’s real strange
And all Chris’ lion jokes have the mange
But you’ll like him, he smiles and he’s fun
Even if you do have sit through all his 50 puns
I’m not sure this is any rapper show
Cos he respects women and has no dough
He’s studied rocks and his accent sucks
(But shit man) Like this is the Fringe, so wtf
And man be sure to hang in there long
Cos he pops his veins with his final song.
Oh Mr Chris, do stay clear of our midday sun
Cos you’re worth seeing again for all that fun.
(With apologies to all hip-hop artists and those who study the English language, including grammarians.)
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